English Small Talk: Important lesson for Chinese business people

▲ 点击蓝字关注“BMCGROUP人才发展”

专注国际人才发展解决方案

If you cannot make social small talk with foreign business associates, it may not just be the conversation that ends..

如果您不会与您的海外商业伙伴进行社交闲聊，那么您与商业伙伴之间结束的可能不仅仅是对话...

Your business negotiations have been going well and, after a long day discussing the finer points of your deal, you invite your foreign visitors to have dinner in a nice local restaurant. After some general remarks about the food and location, the conversation moves on to lighter, more social, topics – and very quickly stops.

你们之间的商务谈判进行得很顺利，在讨论了一整天的工作细节后，你们邀请外国合作伙伴在当地一家不错的餐厅共进晚餐。在对食物和地点进行了一些一般性的评论后，对话转向了更轻松、更具社交性的话题 —— 但是你们之间针对这样的话题的交流很快停止了。

Teaching the ‘art’ of small talk for business (it is certainly that) is overlooked by many Business English instructors in China; often because they have little real experience of the business world themselves.

在中国，许多商务英语教师忽视了商务闲聊的“艺术”（事实当然是如此）；通常是因为他们自己对商业世界几乎没有真正的经验。

In addition the cultural aspects of what to say, or not to say, are not explained adequately to help Chinese professionals avoid topics that are uncomfortable to foreigners.

此外，在对方文化环境下该说什么或不该说什么并没有得到充分解释以帮助中国商务专业人士避免谈论外国人感觉不舒服的话题。

So, why is being able to make small talk with foreign business associates so important?

那么，为什么能够与外国商业伙伴进行闲聊如此重要呢？

Partly, it is a cultural issue - in many Western societies the concepts of ‘work’ and ‘outside of work’ are seen as entirely separate, and do not mix well. What that means in practice is that, when the working day is over, westerners are keen to avoid any long talks about it, if possible!

在一定程度上，这是一个文化问题 —— 在许多西方社会，“工作”和“工作之外”的概念被视为完全独立的，不能很好地混合在一起。这在真实实践中意味着，当工作日结束时，如果可能的话，西方人会尽量避免谈论它！

Additionally, this is also why Chinese business people get surprised for not getting a reply to messages sent to foreigners late at night, over weekends, or away on holiday. Westerners won’t answer – they will turn it off. In some Western countries and companies there are laws and regulations against messaging during ‘anti-social hours’.

此外，这也是为什么中国商务人士在深夜、周末或外出度假时没有收到发送给外国人的信息的回复会感到惊讶的原因。外国人不会回复这些邮件 —— 他们不会打开消息并浏览与回复。一些西方国家和公司，有法律法规禁止在“反社会时间”发信息。

Continual refencing of business can lead to a feeling of growing annoyance with the person who will not drop the subject. In our own experience, we once witnessed a deal fall apart in the Middle East; because the American visitor got totally exasperated with his local counterpart for refusing to stop talking about the deal over social drinks – he walked out.

不断地重新提及商务上的业务可能会使人们对于那些不肯放弃这一话题的人感到越来越厌烦。根据我们的经验，我们曾亲眼目睹一笔交易在中东破裂；因为这位美国商务访客对当地商务人士拒绝停止在社交酒会上谈论生意而感到非常愤怒，所以他离开了。

Why is making small talk often so difficult for learners of English?

为什么对英语学习者来说，闲聊常常如此困难？

Most Chinese people learn and improve their English with an emphasis on using it for work. Whilst that is fine for subjects related to their professional life, once the talking changes to general social topics, there is suddenly a lack of vocabulary to continue easily. This can cause awkward pauses and slow conversations; with the inevitable issue of fear of ‘losing face’ (mianzi), not helping matters for the Chinese party involved.

大多数中国人学习和提高英语的重点是在工作中使用英语。虽然这对于与他们的职业生活相关的主题来说是可以的，但一旦谈话转向一般的社会话题，就会突然缺乏容易继续的词汇。这可能会导致尴尬的停顿和缓慢的对话；由于不可避免地担心“丢脸”（面子），这对谈话中的中国人一方就将会毫无帮助。

Nonetheless, there are some real benefits about mastering small talk to consider:

·  You have no idea where it will go –this conversation could be the beginning of that big deal you’ve been looking for.

·  It makes you smarter –you learn more about them, their world and their business; great assets for building relationships.

·  It feels good – most people enjoy socialising.

·  It opens your eyes – you can learn to see things from their point of view, and use this for business advantage.

·  You’ll be liked – it’s not just about business relationships, or building ‘guanxi’; you might just make a new friend.

·  You have no choice – if your job involves dealing with foreign clients, or business associates, then, frankly, you have to do it.

尽管如此，掌握闲聊还是有一些需要考虑到的实在性的好处：

• 你不知道该谈话的方向会走向何方 —— 这次对话可能是你一直在寻找的大生意的开端。

• 它让你变得更聪明 —— 你更多地了解西方人、西方人的世界以及他们的业务；这是建立关系的巨大资产。

• 这感觉很好 —— 大多数人都喜欢社交。

• 这会让你大开眼界 —— 你可以学会从西方人的角度看待事物，并利用这一点获得商业优势。

• 你会受到青睐 —— 这不仅仅是建立商业关系或建立“关系”；你可能只是交了一个新朋友。

• 你别无选择 —— 如果你的工作涉及到与外国客户或商业伙伴打交道，那么坦率地说，你必须这样做。

There are some universal topics that you can safely use for small talk:

·  Sports – their favourite sport, or team.

·  Hobbies – what they enjoy outside of work.

·  Weather – beloved of the British people.

·  Family – just don’t ask if parents are still alive.

·  Holidays – never ask how much it cost.

·  Home Town – where they grew up, or live now.

·  Job – in Chinese culture, people can be reluctant to show their position in the hierarchy. Westerners expect it very early in the conversation – just don’t ask if they like their current job, or boss.

·  Education – university, or school.

有一些通用的话题可以安全地用于闲聊：

• 运动 —— 他们最喜欢的运动或团队。

• 爱好 —— 他们在工作之外喜欢的东西。

• 天气 —— 英国人的挚爱。

• 家人 —— 只是不要问父母是否还活着。

• 假期 —— 永远不要问花对方在假期花了多少钱。

• 家乡 —— 他们成长或现在居住的地方。

• 工作 —— 在中国文化中，人们可能不愿意在等级制度中表明自己的地位。西方人在谈话的早期就预料到了—— 只是不要问西方人喜欢现在的工作或老板与否。

• 教育 —— 他们所就读的大学或学校。

Do some research before you meet them; ask their colleagues, or check online profiles for interests (e.g. LinkedIn). Practice related vocabulary, and be ready to have the same questions asked to you - they will truly appreciate your efforts, and you will be remembered!

There are also some subjects never to discuss:

·  Salary / Financial – personal, not your business

·  Politics / Religion– never appropriate

·  Love Life – you are acquaintances, not friends

·  Death– nobody likes this.

·  The Deal – see my comments as to why, above..

在见到你的西方伙伴之前先做些调查；询问他们的同事，或查看在线个人资料以了解他们的兴趣（例如LinkedIn）。练习相关词汇，并准备好他们向你提出同样的问题——他们会真正感谢你的努力，你会被他们记住的！

还有一些主题永远不会被讨论到：

• 工资/财务 —— 这是私人的事情，不关你的事

• 政治/宗教 —— 这样的话题是从不合适的

• 热爱生活 —— 你们是熟人，而不是朋友

• 死亡 —— 没有人喜欢谈论这样的话题

• 交易 —— 参见我如上所述的原因..

Most foreigners are unlikely to have good Chinese language communication skills, the Chinese counterpart who can make good, clear English conversation will have a genuine competitive advantage over the many who cannot. Learning the art of small talk may take a little time, but the rewards for your business, and career, can be huge.

大多数外国人不太可能拥有良好的中文沟通能力，所以能够进行良好、清晰的英语对话的中国人将比许多不能进行对话的人拥有真正的竞争优势。学习闲聊的艺术可能需要一点时间，但对你的事业和职业生涯的回报可能是巨大的。

If you are interested in further developing your knowledge on English small talk skills, or other leadership and management skills, please contact us to discuss our range of market tested, fully customised training programs.

如果您有兴趣进一步拓展您在如何进行英文寒暄方面的知识或其他领导与管理技能，请与我们联系，一同探讨我们经过市场测试的全定制培训计划。

See our insights

比恩锡BMC公司版权所有©️2023年。未经许可，不得做任何形式的转载和出版。转载请在消息栏回复“转载”查阅须知。关注“BMCGROUP人才发展”微信公众号获得更多人才洞见。点击“阅读原文”，可查阅官网。

Contact (English & Chinese):

Charlie He - Managing Director, BM Consulting (Shanghai) / Head of Centre, City&Guilds China Centre

Tel: (+86) 186 2187 6930

Email: charlie01@bmconsulting.cn

WeChat: Charlie_HeYu

Company address: 上海市黄浦区人民路885号淮海中华大厦615室/room 615, Huaihai China Tower, Ren'min Road 885, Huangpu District, Shanghai China

About us:

        BMC Partnership总部位于上海，作为中国和海外的国际认证职业培训项目的专业合格供应商和咨询顾问，拥有数十年的国际经验。

      目前，我们提供City & Guilds商务支持（Business Support)三级文凭（4475-13），为中国大陆的职业高中、高等院校和跨国企业，以及私人商业等领域的专业人士提供商业技能培训。

Based in Shanghai, BMC Partnership has over a decade of experience as a specialist qualified provider and consultancy for internationally accredited vocational training programs in China and overseas.

Currently, we offer City & Guilds Level 3 Diploma in Business Support (4475-13), providing vocational business skills training to China Mainland vocational high schools, colleges, universities, and multinational enterprises, as well as for private business professionals.